Monday, November 22, 2004

and once again, she's surrounded by many people, and in the crowd she's all alone. so many familiar faces, but she didn't recognise any of them. she sails on a ship with a crew that she thought she knew so well, but in reality, they are nothing but faceless phantoms sailing on the same journey as she was. and just like her, they are all alone in the midst of commotion. but unlike her, they do not realise it. all of them are deluding their very own selves that the zombies they are sharing their tombs with are an affirmative bunch. but they are nothing but lies. lies. lies. and lies.


her lips formed alot of pseudo smiles, and aching muscles is the aftermath. but she know that she cannot end this pseudonomity; she has to hide this pain that she feels inside, the hole in her heart that has never been filled and still unsure who has created it and why it expands day after day. she tries very hard to hide from people but they are just everywhere. she feels as if she's a target on a shooting range with nowhere to hide; waiting seems like forever but shot right through in an instant.


the heart has grown so cold, it has forgotten to feel. the coldness influences the mind and thus the soul has found it hard in believing. false and truth often coincides and it's hard to seperate those two from each other. promises have been pushed aside, patience is no longer a virtue. breaking away has now become a lifetime mission, but something that is impossible. there's no way for her to amputate herself from this cruel truth that she has to face, from this fake and backstabbing society that she has been forced to live in. trapped inside and outside, her mind disintergrates but simultaneously stimulating vicious and unimaginable thoughts that has never been revealed to any other person. the thoughts were purely hers, and hers alone and she'd protect it as if it was her child, her infant, her baby for it was the only thing that they cannot take away from her. let them have her pride, let them deprive her of the right, truthful company but never take her thoughts away from her. because then, she'd be nothing but an empty vessel, not waving but drowning in this big open sea.


died-ed at 6:54 pm
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