Saturday, November 13, 2004

;blood&jam

i hate my period.

i hate the sight of my blood on the bloody sanitary pad.

it freaking looks like strawberry jam on white bread. no, not those diluted strawberry jams. those super-dooper concentrated ones with chunks of strawberry in it.

that's how disgusting it is. and i hate it.




panic. panic. panic. i'm left with 3 days, including today, to finish the coursework for my art paper 2. that means a plate and a third per day. i'm SO not going to do anything tomorrow cos one thing, it's raya and the second is that, i can't be bothered doing art on raya and i would very much prefer studying geography at home while my sisters are out with the parents collecting more ka-ching! ka-ching! ka-ching! hmph.


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i hope my cousinS read this:

enough dissing your relatives on your friendster profiles la. if you detest them so much, SAY IT TO THEIR FACE DAMN IT. why bother putting up an act in front of them if it hurts you so much? they go to mosques and they know what's right and what's wrong. THAT IS BLOODY WHY THEY COMMENT ABOUT THE WAY YOU DRESS, THE WAY YOU BLOODY BRING YOURSELF. maybe the way they say it isn't really polite but hello, you people are old enough to take care of yourselves, to know how a MUSLIM should dress and act and everything. i'm not a perfect person myself but as profane as i could be, i know my limits and i know how to freaking respect my elders. i do badmouth my elders but i keep it to my bloody self and not let the whole freaking world see. YOU THINK BY PUTTING IT UP ON YOUR BLOODY PROFILES WILL MAKE THEM CHANGE? THEY WON'T BLOODY SEE IT, THEY WON'T BLOODY KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. SO WHY ARE YOU BLEEDINGLY PROTESTING TO THEIR ETHICS THAT WAY? obviously, none of you appreciate them at all. and obviously, none of you are BRAVE ENOUGH to tell them straight into their faces.


now, all i ask is for you people to look into their eyes tomorrow and imagine yourself expressing your hatred to them. i want you people to look into their eyes and then imagine yourselves in their shoes. because when you think about it, you won't like how you turned out to be right now.
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kintot, i didn't sleep with a pail. but i did what you told me to do, put a towel/tablecloth/somekindofmembrane on my bedsheet so it won't leak. kintot, i think your nephew is cute and it's not because of his uncle. kintot, you bloody owe me for helping you out with Apple Girl. and kintot, $61 for a 10 person's meal is cheap, considering you guys ordered ala carte and 2 jugs of juice. and kintot, it's still flowing like no one business even though i know you don't want to know. and kintot, i've got a job for you. replace ahmeng at the zoo while he goes back home to celebrate raya with his family.


house is still in a mess. i still miss my maid. BAD.


died-ed at 10:37 am
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Thursday, November 11, 2004

mr biggy bob.

i was posting something when the computer restarted itself. so dangeatshitfuckdie.


i'm lazy to ask jason to shuddup again. lazy to type why i'm a certified lazy bum again. lazy to laugh at high confidence of trying to wake up at 9 am to study again. but this whole paragraph is practically a summary of what i had initially posted before the computer went crazy on my just now, so yeah.


2 more days to Eid.

i can't believe my mum sold my ONLY new suit to her friend. ugh. whatever. i loved the colour. and it goes very well with my footwear. well, at least now i know that i'm going to use those past eid suits, i'm not pestering myself to get a new bag. it's just not worth it. but i still feel so UGH. fiqi has like 5 new suits lah damnit, mir has about 2 to 4. dangeatshitfuckdie. it's just so sad that my footwear is so nice and new and i don't have that beautiful suit to match it with. dangeatshitfuckdie. dangeatshitfuckdie. dangeatshitfuckdie. ugh. ugh. ugh.


syukur, the father would say. like ya, i'm syukuring la. but damnit la, you got me a new suit then you go and sell it off. FOR WHAT. like bloody hell, don't feed me those "other people don't even have suits" or "other people are not even alive anymore to celebrate Eid". well, i'm alive and i ALREADY HAD as new suit, so do i care about other people? NO.


it's like the AADC scene, while they are walking home from the cafe.

Rangga: Kalo bisa dikerjakan sendiri, masakan harus punyain pembantu?

Cinta: Kalo bisa mampu punyain pembantu, masakan harus dikerjakan sendiri?



SEE WHAT I MEAN?! ugh. ugh. ugh. i still feel so ugh.







click on them if you want to. it's not the best that i've done. but i was bored at cik mah's and i was playing around with the webcam and ADOBE PHOTOSHOP(which i don't have on my computer right now). so yeah.


i'm going to do my art. 2 down, 4 more plates to go.


died-ed at 1:17 pm
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Tuesday, November 09, 2004

blah.

i hate it that we practically live on takeaways.




whatever.




died-ed at 6:46 pm
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Monday, November 08, 2004

haha.

all time favourite conversation with him:


H=Him,

M=Me. duh.


h: so where does your mom always do her marketing? maybe i can accompany her.. haha.

m: oh. cold storage. but sometimes ntuc. cos daddy brings the car to work.


h: so, that's for staple food uh?

m: no. it's for everything. from dory fish to canned food to microwaves and instant noodles. i like the chicken microwave lasagne the best. then the canned chicken curry. wonders what the microwave can do for you.


h: so how long does a 5kg sack of rice can last your family?

m: i'm not sure. it depends.

h: on what?

m: on how long the rice stays in the cooker each rare time we actually eat rice.

h: so i guess i shouldn't ask about the gas thingy either?

m: SMART.




i like love it when he goes all dumbfounded and blur. <3<3<3. i don't know why he suddenly took interest in my family's kitchen welfare. which reminds me, the kitchen sink needs a replacement. the pipes need to be mended. doing the dishes in the washroom isn't a very decent thing to do. cos they do it in the kitchen washroom. AND I AM THE ONE BATHING IN THE KITCHEN WASHROOM. blah.


so i'm going to prom. seventy bucks. seventy smackeroos. -eyes widen and pops out-.


i'm bleeding profusely and it's not from the vagina.


died-ed at 11:25 pm
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Sunday, November 07, 2004

nouseforatitle

reason for not being able to obtain resources on cheerleading without having to log onto the computer:

either singapore's slow growth in cheerleading or national library's insufficient resources.




seriously, the main reason for me to travel all the way to amk library was to get information and pictures on cheerleading and rugby so that i can use them as resources for my art paper 2 coursework. furthermore, that library has easy access to the photocopying machines- colour and black&white. but when i got there, i couldn't find shiznit about cheerleading. thank goodness that place had abundant information on rugby. i was going to holler like agatha trunchbull when she found out that bruce brongthrotter(or sth like that) ate her disgusting chocolate cake and made the entire school stayed back to copy the dictionary. (i don't know what's wrong with me. but i loved that roald dhal book. and the movie was splendid. i was easily entertained as a kid. and i love his name. it's making me crave for prata right now. just 4 more hours to munching something..) do they really have to locate all the cheerleading materials at bedok library? ugh. the crazy things the administration people do. if my mum was still a librarian, (not that i'm exactly sure what she's doing right now apart from executive officer for education at the mosque because she's a super-workaholic and one job seems like 193749812303.), i'd prolly wouldn't have to do these research things on my own. blah. i'm incompetent. i'm lazy. and i regret taking art. cos art is expensive, art is time consuming, art is too vague a subject, art requires talent(but i have this so its okay), art needs patience, and interest and whole load of other things. BUT, the beautiful thing abt art is: there's no right or wrong. so you're always right. haha. and i love to get acrylic on my uniform. stands out from the bloody bowen crowd. haish.


all you f&n-ers are such a lucky bunch. don't get to learn bio, f&n learns a little bit of bio. get to cook. get to bully yong ming. get to eat free food.(actually, they just cook it. the rest of the class devours it) you people don't have to do your coursework twice. and you guys can be chefs when you grow up. artists barely make it in the real world. profits are for us to buy more paint and charcoal and canvas and brushes so we can create more masterpeices so we can sell and get profit to buy more paint and charcoal and brushes. so it's like small-scale farming. vicous cycle. we artists will end up living in poverty which is much worse than dick and mary because even dick and mary had a store to at least support their living even though no one actually buys stuff from their store.


i'm still not over lit. lit exams over= no more mrs yu mee choo pestering us to study hard for 12th Night and "at least read her thesis on TGIS if we don't bother reading the whole novel altogether". she's a good teacher, really. it's just us kids who are the monkeys and stupid fools who do not appreciate all her work. yeap. but she's the one with the monkey face and gestures. so uh. i shall leave it like that.


i won't comment on d&t people cos i don't like d&t. i think i'm the only asshole alive who thinks that you use rattan to make bridges. i don't like learning about chengal, chipboard, softboard, chainsaw, and machines. because i simply wouldn't care. when i get married, my husband's the one who's gonna choose the suitable material for the furniture. i'll just approve the peice of bulk if i like it. I JUST DON'T LIKE D&T BECAUSE I HAD MR CRAZY NG FOR THAT BLOODY SUBJECT IN SEC 1 AND SEC 2! i don't like d&t. i don't like d&t. i don't like d&t.


so when i cannot get my resources from the library and have to come to the internet to do my bloody research, i won't actually do my research. i'll end up blogging like what i am doing right now. and tt's bad. because.. it's just bad la. and i've always felt that doing research on the internet is for lazy people. i know i'm a lazy asshole but getting my search done in the library gives me some kind of motivation, you know. like i actually bothered to travel just to get materials for my bloody cambrige art paper 2. this whole paragraph sounds shallow. i shall not continue this paragraph. i'm going to start a new one.


but yesterday was pretty productive. i got my artist research pictures photostated, my referrals for first hand observational sketches photostated, rugby visual information photostated. and i got my raya footwear off the list of things that i'm supposed to do by next sunday. which is a week for now. a week for me to clean my room, scrub my wall, get that "DISASTER AREA" sign off my door, change the blinds, change my sheets and another thousand and one things to do. which is sooo never gonna get done. especially the cleaning of room part. refer to previous post for more information. OMG. EATSHITFUCKDANGANDDIE. my absent minded self has forgotten all about containers to get paint. blahdeedaa.


i'm done with chemistry. i hope the tuesday paper would be alrighty for me. yes. i should wake up and sembahyang hajat or tahajud. whichever applies. before that, i really should pray five times a day. ramadhan's coming to an end and i'm just starting to repent. blah. i feel so hypocritical towards my religion. but i really can't help it if i'm always lazy and keep on giving in to the irritating works of satan. ugh. many times i wonder why adam and eve just had to eat that fruit and get themselves thrown to earth.


i think gymnasts are disgusting. no offense but you people bend too much. i think DISFIGURED or anything close to that exists in your dictionary.


no, kintot. i'm not gonna tell the world about the encouter with the holy innocent girl. i'm fasting. i don't want to holler vulgaraties for a while. heh.


this is an extremely long entry. i should stop. oh before that, i salute whoever who read from the very start of this entry until this very word: bye.


died-ed at 1:35 pm
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