Saturday, July 17, 2004

it hurts when people only know the exterior.

it hurts when you can't express your interior.

it hurts when people misinterpret what you feel.

just because they feel that your true interior mismatch your exterior.

sometimes, what i appear to be, isn't what i am.

sometimes, what i feel isn't what i show.

my flesh is a hypocrite to my heart.

and many times, i try to talk it out

but there's no one there, there's no one.

and when there's someone, it isn't someone who i can talk to.

there's no one i can talk to, because i can't.

my lips, my voicebox.. they decieve my brain.

and it hurts. it hurts so much in the chest.

and sometimes the chest moves up to the throat and there, it'll hurt.

and i'm still alone..

everyone's busy chasing their dreams,

everyone's busy pleasing others.

everyone else has their own friends, everyone else has their own commitments.

and my life now has become so mundane...

just tell me,

how many of us lived today better than yesterday?

i think everyone's living the same day everyday..

but everyone else is thinking otherwise.



died-ed at 9:49 am
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Monday, July 12, 2004

-sheepish grin-

ace called! ace called! ace called! and he's coming back on wednesday! <3<3<3<3 wooot. damn, i miss him a whole darn lot.. like freak, he's my bestest friend! apart from shan and swee.. and mids are over over over!!! and i've got a nice new layout!!!!!!!




k. that sounded over-enthusiastically bimbo.


the extended family's planning a kl trip next month. yeayness. go and witness my uncle's convocation, shop alot and get my mind off a whole load of shiznit. i can't wait to escape. anyway, no reason for blogging today actually. just that shan just went home and the computer corner's the place my feet brought me to, so yeah.




now, back to anthony robin's unlimited power. self-help books are tha bomb.<3


died-ed at 5:27 pm
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Sunday, July 11, 2004

money tree.

oh money tree,

do thy exist?

oh please, i'm strapped,

i'm penniless.

to go on with life

with no cash,

is trying to live

without any breath (ahaha. stupid line. what the hell?!)

oh money tree,

if thy exist,

where art thou?

i want to shake you off,

of your leaves of green and plastic,

so i can go on with life again.








okay. lame attempt at poetry. but hell, i am in real need of cash. one moment, i'm damned well-off, and the next moment i'm like the matchstick girl.


tomorrow's the last paper for mids. amath. i shall survive. oh, and then there's mock prelims for higher malay. like what else is new? thank god i managed to finish my art paper yesterday. i was panicking when mrs sim came up to me,"work faster. use a bigger brush, atiqah".. and boy did i use a bigger brush alright..


my brother's job is so boring he calls his girlfriend every 15 minutes..(or so i felt that way..) it's kinda weird that her sister's gonna get married soon. then it's gonna be her next. and its a huge probability that it's gonna be my brother. and that means that i'll be next. as if that is my greatest worry but it sickens me that i'd be tied down one day.. sooner or later.. whatever. i just wanna do well for my o's for now. yeah.


ex-rosythians. esp malay students from batch '00, cikgu shuhada sufri's in the papers! and she's wearing the tudung! and her anak is so cute!.. actually, i just miss her. ya ya, i still have that tile thingy she gave me, do you? gosh. i'm bored. and my blogging today was forced by a source that prefers to be anonymous and that is irritating cos by the time he reads this line, he'd be laughing his ass off but would NEVER, EVER leave a comment or something.


so here's to you, mr *********.. (asteriks are not typed to scale)


died-ed at 2:39 pm
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