Saturday, March 13, 2004

its deafening.

yet, another night all alone at home. the silence. the peace. the ringing in my ears. ringing. ringing. ringing. its deafening. still, i'll groove the silence.


my 1st term result slip:

english language: 62.0

higher malay: 65.0

additional mathematics: 76.0 <3<3

mathematics: 66.0 (k, i don't know what happened here. but improved there. *points at amaths results*)

science(phy, chem): 68.0

combined humanities(SS,G): 52.0 (HAHA)

LITERATURE IN ENGLISH: 24.0 (WHEE MAN!!! WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!)

art and design: 75.0


mr yeo: atiqah's results right now would get her to a good course in poly..

dad: oh. ok.

silence.. silence.. silence..

mr yeo: don't worry. she's a good student.

dad: oh. ok. *pause pause pause* is that all?


atiqah is a good student. absolute psuedoysm, mr yeo.


someone had to waste one third of my 48 dollar christian breton face wash and therefore, finishing it all and leaving me with nothing to wash my face with.


and oh, i uploaded more pictures to my yahoo album part 2. yeah.


died-ed at 8:08 pm
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Friday, March 12, 2004

zombie.

i feel like just another walking zombie. just another walking zombie like everyone else. i wake up. go to school. eat. rest. sleep. wake up. go to school. eat. rest. sleep. wake up. go to school. eat. rest. sleep. and the cycle goes on and on. often, i don't know where i lost my time.


i'm the type of girl who keeps the world at a distance and observe. i'm not the sort who loves to make a lot of comment. i keep them in my head. often, i jot them down. eventually, i realise its either going to waste or someone's going to read it. either way, it doesn't really matter to me. i managed to let it out and get over the experience. penetrate the feeling. get over the experience. that to me, is rather emotionless. at times i feel emotionless. but feeling emotionless is already a feeling. so, how i really am is rather vague.


and i wish sometimes i am the one talking and not listening..


"in your head,

what's in your head..

zombie..."


died-ed at 6:15 pm
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Thursday, March 11, 2004

on a high..

yum. my granny makes the best soups on rainy days. i love her. and soup. soup. soup. yummy. yummy vegetable soup. yum.


my school is just the craziest school ever. teachers teach art using the theory of mechanism in cars. the lesson after c&t is like "waiting for food" lesson. the scones they made today are nice btw. and during maths, we learn how to gamble. well, we're gonna learn how to gamble more tomorrow.


as if the class guys don't know how to gamble. they bet alot. and on stupid soccer matches. heh.


the girls, however, would gamble using cards..


i'm going crazy over duncan sheik all over again.


"said i was yours,

and you were mine.

never really mean it.

so i lied, and i lied,

wish you hadn't seen it.

cos i'm trapped inside my conspiracy of happiness.."


died-ed at 5:46 pm
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Wednesday, March 10, 2004

i'm a liar and she's lying.

today's one of those jason-lameness-craze kind of day. heh.


during english lesson..

me: you'd realise by nowthat our group's presentation is going to be the worst and the most pathetic one.

jason: it's okay. tell mrs guna we just have to stand out, we just have to set a new trend.

me: right..

jason: see, if all groups are good, there'll be no example of a bad picture description. therefore, us doing the worst would be an example and people will learn from our mistakes..

me: you are out of this world my friend..

jason: well, it's difficult to be bad when you're good.


and crap, we just had to add this to our presentation just now:

In the zoo, there's an orang utan. And the orang utan told the children.."In the zoo, there is an orang utan. And the orang utan told the children,"in the zoo, there is an orang utan and the orang utan told the children...""(multiply by infinite)


so mrs guna gave us a mere 4 point grade for the picture description. like hell, who cares.


so people who actually have my hp number, go and try and take a listen to my new voicemail. HAHA. thanks jason. (=




died-ed at 8:12 pm
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Tuesday, March 09, 2004

wonderful..

I close my eyes when I get too sad

I think thoughts that I know are bad

Close my eyes and I count to ten

Hope it's over when I open them


I want the things that I had before

Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door

I wish I could count to ten

Make everything be wonderful again


I hope my mom and I hope my dad

Will figure out why they get so mad

Hear them scream, I hear them fight

They say bad words and make me want to cry


Close my eyes when I go to bed and I

Dream of adventures that make me smile

I feel better when I hear them say

Everything will be wonderful some day


Promises mean everything

When you're little and the world is so big

I just don't understand how

You can smile with all those tears in your eyes

And tell me everything is wonderful now

Please don't tell me everthing is wonderful now


I go to school and I run and play

I tell the kids that it's all ok

I laugh aloud so my friends wont know

When the bell rings I just don't want to go home

Go to my room and I close my eyes

I make believe I have a new life

I don't believe you when you say

Everything will be wonderful some day


Promises mean everything

When you're little and the world is so big

I just don't understand how

You can smile with all those tears in your eyes

When you tell me everything is wonderful now


No. No. I don't want to hear you tell me everything is wonderful now.

No. No. I don't want to hear you tell me everything is wonderful now.

I don't want to hear you say that I will understand some day

No. No. No. No.

I don't want to hear you say both have grown in a different way

No. No. No.

No I don't want to meet your friend

I don't want to start over again

I just want my life to be the same

Just like it used to be

Somedays, I hate everything

I hate everything

Everyone and everything


Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now.


No. Please don't want to hear you tell me everything is wonderful now...


No. Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now..

Everything is wonderful now...


and i just wish that everything is wonderful somehow....


died-ed at 8:40 pm
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Monday, March 08, 2004

singing in the rain.

after what seemed like weeks of draught, the rain has taken its toll. i love the atmosphere. so dark and gloomy. so cooling. i love to see the vertical patterns falling from the sky. i love the perspective. its as if i'm exploring cubism in motion. i love the way the teacher has to compete with the rain to attract our attention. and what's best? i love the way we sing in class whenever it rains. just singing.. together.


but the rain deprives me from going to the beach today to shout and to laugh. but hey, as the vice principle said,"you can either see the rain as bad weather, or having the grass to be watered for free"... so i'm off to the library and dinner.. yeah.


i didn't know my dad had a broker. heh.


rain, rain, go away..

come again another day..

little children want to play..

rain rain go away..



died-ed at 4:48 pm
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Sunday, March 07, 2004

silence is deafening.

before that,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARGARETH HILDA SUGIARTO.


silence is engulfing the emptiness of the house. other than the keyboard, the ticking of the clock hands and my sister's occasional movements, i hear nothing. and when everything is still, my ear starts ringing and ringing and ringing, inviting migraines and panadols.


i've got to escape.


art is the only way.


died-ed at 2:53 pm
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