Saturday, January 03, 2004

my turn to diss you.

you know what mich? you have dissed me and my entire family enough for me to loose my senses and forget all about the secrets and all those stupid shiet we've been through. and you know what else mich? every single embarrassing thing that you made me promise not to tell would be posted here. right here. on my blog. on the internet. and open to the very eyes of whoever that have access to my blog. and that includes your boyfriend.


i don't care if you diss me being fat, i don't care if you diss me being anti-social and my absolute lack of friends and my absolute lame-ness or whatever. but i do give loads of shit when you diss MY PARENTS, MY FAMILY. well, my parents may be uncool, but get this girl, at least they are together. my mother is happily married to my father for nearly 21 years, thank you very much. unlike yours, who had to throw away all of her business cards and change mrs. yap to ms. tan. at least my father brings in income for the family. unlike yours who just gamble all of your mother's money away. and oh, did i mention that the money that my parents bring in are CLEAN and not DIRTY LIKE YOURS? my brother may not talk to me 24/7. i may not even know him that well. but at least my brother do not go around touching his little sister when he is horny. my brother has much more dignity than that. my sisters are childish, i admit. but they are the dearest and sweetest things in the world. i love them,they love me. when i diss them,i was joking. unlike your sisters, who practically talk bad of you behind your bag. would you imagine, behind all those psuedo smiles, they call you scumbag, you scumbag? and i may sounded pathetic when i cried over the phone, agonizing how seldom my family have dinner together and stuff.now it just occurred to me that i am lucky, because at least my family lives together, in peace. and i'm lucky i do not have 2 addresses. i'm lucky because i do not have to worry which parent to bring during parent's day or which parent to sign my report card or which parent to go home to.


you see mich, what goes round, comes around.and the amount that i dissed you up there isn't enough compared to what you have dissed me on my family. so i'm a loser, as if you can change that fact. i have enough of being there for you when you needed a shoulder to cry on. i am frigginly sick and tired of providing you my shoulder. when i needed one, i realised u were never there. and for once when i couldn't be there, you completely lost yourself. you showed your true self. well, thank you very much for showing the real you. thank you very much for hurting me. and thank you very much for causing me to lose hope on getting one true friend in life. you thought that i am that sweet,innocent girl who'd keep her word and not leak your pipe. well, i thought that you were the one friend who would accept me as i am, accept my family as they are, who wouldn't drift away just like the others. get this fact MICHELLE: i thought wrong, and so did YOU. us befriending, was a HUGE MISTAKE.


died-ed at 7:07 pm
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Tuesday, December 30, 2003

i'll wait.

as i lie awake,

i think of you..

knowing this connection would not exceed more than just friends.

you have another.

envous, i admit i was,

i had been and still am

anonymous letters i wrote and sent

never claiming my ownership,

denying my rights.

"i had a crush on you then,

still having a crush on you now.

but now you're with your boo,

i can do nothing but tear in silence.

but i'll wait for you..even if it means forever."

i really would...


i am being sappy. and that was for him.


died-ed at 9:25 am
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Monday, December 29, 2003

/me confused.

i don't know what's up with me and brunei-ans but there're alot in my msn contacts. they just kept adding me. maybe alit told his friends my email or they just happen to go to circles99 just like i do. gee. but i totally do not go around looking at profiles. =S but brunei-ans are kewl. heh. i have got alot to ask them.like issit really true that the nightlife there is lousy..or do they really speak bahasa melayu baku..how their education system is like..and blablabla. do you know they don't use saya over there..? they use aku..even with their parents(applies for one certain friend though. not all of them). kewl man. if i use aku with my parents, i'm guaranteed 5 fingers and a palm on both cheeks. jeez. maybe i should go there one day and visit alit or daniel or sth. heh. and alit has yet to attract me to that country..since 4 months ago..well, at least daniel is describing the difference. that's one step. well, at least, an aspect of attracting me there. heh. i just wanna get outta here. singapore sucks shit ass.


died-ed at 4:51 pm
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