Sunday, October 26, 2003

sleepeh.

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some people are just so lucky that their parents have the time of the world for them. some people are just so lucky that they have friends all around them 24/7. some people are just so lucky that all their lives, they do not have to feel unwanted. some people are just so lucky that they do not have to make decisions. some people are just so lucky that they never have to worry about disappointing others. some poeple are just so lucky that love comes and stays. some poeple are just so lucky to just about everything they need without lifting a finger. some people are just so lucky they do not have to doubt to trust others. some people are just so so lucky. unlike me.

[ /edit ]





arghz. madrasah exam was so-so.. fiqh was quite easy, so was akhlak.. i just totally suck at tafsir soz naturally it was difficult for me, where as ain claimed that it was real easy that she was done with the paper within 5 minutes. heh. the way the positioned or seperated us for the exams was weird. the whole cohort(sp?) of us were like listed into different classes so we had to search for our names and stuff. lohz. hehx. syed ali was so cute today. i came in and ustazah asked me to be seated in front of him and he was like patting my sit and going like "meh meh meh.. duduk, duduk" (trans: come come come, sit sit).. heehee.. and after the whole thang i thought i could go back to granny's house whilst waiting for dad to send mir and then pick me up.. but then she wasn't home and when i went up to shikin's place, her house was all locked up so i just tired myself going there altogether when i could instead take a short cut home.. so i walked home.. yeap, from hougang ave 3 all the way to serangoon north ave 2. bleakz.. was about half an hour walk(including that wasted time from madrasah to nenek's place).. argh. so i was like sweating and complaining to dear dear and when my handphone battery was almost flat, i started singing that ada apa dengan cinta sountrack.. the whole dunno-how-many tracks.. bleahz. hehx. lunch was rad! :D:D:D yummeh yummeh yummeh.. me and yaya fixed lunch with a bit of bibik's help.. mee palembang. arghh haven!! yaya was a `lil funny when she was tearing the sawi(english vs?).. hehe.. and then the gas went dead.. and then we used the electrical cooker.. the thing was so nice.. i think i gained the weight that i lost during that long walk. arghhhh. i am soooo sleepy. sleepy sleepy sleepy.


and oh yeah... tonight: terawih.; tomorrow: serious 1 month fasting


died-ed at 2:52 pm
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Saturday, October 25, 2003

kk. my weird timings again.

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i really do wanna go to sentosa. but i guess some people wouldn't let me go because they are afraid i cannot endure where as my sister can go for her nature trail and her stupid camp. bleakz. life is u.n.f.a.i.r.. i do not have to go to school.. so why am i not happy?

[ /edit ]


holidays are approaching and i guess its the time of the year which imma blog my ass off at weird timings.. like today.. and on this fine saturday morning i am chatting with my american friend who doesn't seem to be going to sleep since its like 11pm there and claimed that he is tired but can't sleep for don't know what reason and i do not know why i am describing his condition on my blogger. bleakz. and now he's telling me all about webtv cos i know nuts about that shit. but now it sounds kinda cool. k soz, i'm outta words here. gonna edit this shit later on or stg. bleakz.


died-ed at 10:32 am
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Friday, October 24, 2003

deepavali. ain't that cute?

urm. actually, those two are different titles loh. arghh. my asshole hurts. do you ever had that feeling when u had to shit and then we you thought u are done, your asshole just hurts. real bad. damn, why am i bs-ing about my asshole here..?! anyway, happy deepavali people. could'ave gone to little india yesterday at night to experience the festival of lights, but naaah.. thursday night, *guai guai*. hehx. obedience day. bleakz. soz anyway, i was listening to aaron carter's ain't that cute. you know, his young-singer days kinda thang. he sounded so cute. not so corny. like now. =$ hehx. emily is online. :D:D the first time i chatted with her and she got me craving for cadbury too. bleakz. =b. YEAY! they are playing "the gods must be crazy" on teevee right now. and imma watch it while listening to don phillips. =X the show rawks the shit out of me. and the africans's butts are utterly... kewlzeh. bleahz. anyway, something reminds me of me and my crazy rants whilst i was preparing breakfast just now. i was merely boiling 10 eggs and agonizing whether it was boiled or not and i was like "plz loh ma.. i'm no home econs student loh. its crap larhz. all these kitchen stuff". and my mum was like "crap u say. u cannot even boil eggs properly. but at least u can cook. besides, your art is crappier" and i was like "i can sell my peice, make loads of money, get a maid and get HER to cook for me". heh. i am crazy. so urm. happy deepavali?


died-ed at 11:42 am
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Thursday, October 23, 2003

hehehehex.

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i am evil. actually kinda sweet. i thought about my sis all day. well, the first time i thought about her was when i received my post-exam activities time table. and i saw: amazing race trail @ SENTOSA. and i was yeeeeeeeeehaaa.. at least better than the airport. hehx. don't ask what's with the airport. but i'll tell anyway. hehx. pei cai organised maths trail at the airport and i told her that my maths trail when i was sec 1 was held only at school and she went "LAME!". but now, look who's cool. but our lower sec ppl are having their maths trail at the zoo.. so yeah. i do not know which is lamer and i certainly do not care. and now my mum told me that i cannot go because i am fasting. geez man, as if that make a difference. nasyitah is going to obs while fasting, so why can't i go to sentosa just for a day. geez. issues, issues.. but anyway, the second time i thought about my sister was when i was out with *heehee* at bishan park there was this sign "please leash your dog." and below it was "please clean your dog's droppings".. hehe.. and there was a box filled with plastic bags with the sign and everything and i was like "i should take one of the bags for my sister and tell her to clean up her own poop".. hehx. she is my dog. hehx. i am e to the v to i to the l. :D:D EVIL! hehx. anyway, i got highest for art in my class and fucking beat that cliche ghurl. yeah. and i was the only one who got and a1 and a for art cos the rest got bsumthingtod7. :D and now i am effing filled with ego. hehx. my observational sketches was crap seh. yin fei's was "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeewitttttt"!!!! arghhh. her art rawks. real good.


died-ed at 6:52 pm
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Wednesday, October 22, 2003

...i remember him well...

condolences to sop and his family. his gramps just passed away. well, i'll join you praying for him, alright? whenever there's a death, i'll always remember the first ceremony i've been to. then, it was my gramps that had left us. i remembered it so clearly. the hospital. the people. the absolute silence. every tear, every touch, every memory hasn't slipped away. i remembered him refusing to go to the hospital but he was so sick. i remember the nurses who wouldn't let my cousins in because they were too young or too short. i remember my grandad's request for chrysentumum(sp?) tea but was just ignored. i remembered us girl cousins trying to sleep at the lounge my combining chairs but couldn't and when we went back up to the intensive care storey, the rush happened. then we knew. he was gone. i remember each and every single tear i had shed for him out of love. i remember each and every time he cooked for us. i remember each and every time he slept on the couch when we slept over. i remember his usual sitting place at his house so much so i can still see him now even though he had moved out. i remembered him telling us about the japanese occupation, singing the japanese anthem. i remembered him playing with us, grapping our wrists and us trying to stuggle them out and when we gave up and shouted for help, my granny would tell him to stop and he would and the whole process repeats itself until we are tired. i remembered spending 2 nation's birthdays with him cause he's malaysian. i remembered his handsome face, how his hard work had paid off. i remembered him standing in front of the sink, cleaning his dentures after every meal and trying to make us disgusted. i remembered those days when gramps and gran earned money by making epok-epok every early morning and sell it off. i remembered his face, so pure at the funeral. i remembered kissing him, a gesture of last goodbye. i remembered regretting for not telling him i love him. i loved him so much. i remember, i remember, i remember.


died-ed at 9:07 am
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Tuesday, October 21, 2003

get out of my life, whore.

geez man. if some people don't want me to befriend other people whom are not even close to me, can they just tell it straight to my effing face?. for the sake of humanity, how many effers are out there in the world whose gonna make my life more miserable and anti-social like it already is. ugh. and just because i do not mix around with fuckers from my school, fuckers from my class, fuckers that other fuckers knoe, that does mean that i do not have friends outside. so whatever his fucking problem are, i am totally, absolutely, positively sure that minding his own business is one of them. well fuck you. i am officially the anti-social ghurl. happy now? don't give me faces in the hallway or in the corridors. don't even try to act as if we are going to be good friends if you are going to go astray just like every other asshole i have known. you want people turning their backs against me, well do it openly. tell the whole world my negative side and indirectly SHOWING urs. hey, it doesn't hurt me. not anymore. too many buggers in the world, hon. too many. and you're just another one, whore. you're just another one, bastard. get out of my life and stay there!


died-ed at 5:48 pm
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Monday, October 20, 2003

art + add maths= gosh.i.cannot.think.

seriously. the total quiet-noiseh-quiet atmospheric change around the exam hall was really driving me crazy. for a moment when everyone was doing the exams together (art, dnt, fnn, pure phy) it was so quiet. so peaceful. well, at least i can hear the song i was singing in my head whilst doing my marvellous(yeah.. i wish. but really it was! but i've done better ones..) peice of art and turn to my left and right and keep laughing at them.. "haha.. i'm holding a brush and you're holding a effing pen". =$ k soz then after that when the pupils taking the other exams except art had used up their 2 hours, that was when the quiet to noisy atmospheric change occured. hehx. ppl started talking and mr chan was like "the other students will you keep quiet. other ppl are still doing their exams" and i was like. gee, its not as if we had to think. hehx. so for the remaining one hour it was really hectic. ppl talk, walk, throw water-soaked newspapers, take amaths notebooks to study.. hehx. totally hectic. and if i were to describe it according to music. metallica. totally metallica taking over beethoven or mozart of chopin or something. haha. and then art was over, grabbed some grub and then we had our amaths paper. which then occured the noiseh-turned-effing quiet atmosphere which makes it impossible for me to think. at all. so amaths was an absolute blunder. do not, i shall repeat, DO NOT expect to pass. i got home with all the spirit and willingness to study physics.. but then reached my crib, switched on the aircon, had lunch, watched tv, and slept. whilst listening to some illegally-burnt crap. not crap actually.. its simpleplan. ugh. whatamitalking?!?! seen a couple of reen's pix from graduation night. she is pretty. :D:D totally. ahax. yaya keep criticising my school for having grad night held in school, but hey, hers is doing it as well. gee. my school is not the only one.. there are many others.. but of course, we would totally suck up to those who gets to go to mandrin or hilton(damnit!!) or stg. but reen's fren looks like mr bowenian. haha. but azahar looks so presidential. bleakz.


died-ed at 6:39 pm
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