Friday, September 05, 2003

SCHOOL'S OUT. ONE LAST TERM B4 "MYZ SOOOO HARDWORKING" YEAR:

schools out at aproximately 49 minutes ago, according to my computer clock.. wheee... going off to bukit tinggi tomorrow night, not tonight.. =D i wun miss tiger as much as i have to if i gone tonight.. BUT would still miss him.... *blush..* kay.. bukit tinggi is this frenchtown in malaysia.. kewl huh... i saw the pictures and my fren has gone there before, so i guess it'll be quite alright.. =D i'll upload the pictures when i get back from, there alright...? momma says she booked this 3 bedroom - room for our family and cik zari's family.. and i wld have to sleep with the girls.. oh hark, i can already hear the sweet snoring from the angels... blehz..

anyway, didn't get back my progress report (phew!~) cos school has this new policy that if one class wldn't be able to get their progress report today, the whole school wouldn't get.. so, yeah.. wasted my time last night worrying abt it and actually writing a poem to let go of the feelings.. haha.. haiyoh.. momma just assigned me with another of her business card thingies.. gee.. and later i have to upload her pictures for the brochures... soooooooo troublesome.. but i am paid to do this so why am i complaining?!?!?!?! school was fine today.. but i felt weird wearing my skirt, i dunno why.. outta the blue.. addition to that, i dunno why in the world i told daddy to send mir to school first before sending me.. when i was thinking abt it in class, the first reason was probably to dry my hair but that wasnt it because my hair was already dry when i got in the car.. but just blurted it out kinda thing or stg.. =S geography was okay.. i wasn't really focused but okay larh.. it was abt tourism.. I THINK I LOST MY GEOG TEXT!!!! =( gotta get a new one.. SOON!!!!!!!!!!

haish.. whilst i was walking home, i thought abt life after sec 3.. i mean i know i have to work my ass off for o levels starting from this november.. cos i still dunno if i want to apply for jc or poly.. i mean i want to go to poly, but i want to go to jc too, ya noe.. mr yeo is right. everyone in my class has this goal in our rightful heads: less than 20 points for o leves. but then just less than 20 points alone is not enough.. because if we get 17 or 18, we would be competing with other students in singapore with the same points for the couse/ school that we wish to go to.. thinking about it makes me scared.. i have been slacking like mad since i dunno when.. maybe all my life larh.. i wonder how abang does his thang.. great psle's, great o level, great a level, and great scholarship. geez.. kay, anyway, dun sidetrack.. if i am to go to poly, i really wanna take business.. or design, for that matter.. and i'll work my ass off in poly to be top 5% and go to university and get a degree or stg.... OR if i work my ass off now and go to some jc, i'll get an a level cert or stg.. but i dunno what to do in jc.. and i dun wanna go thru the hassle of dunno what to wear or feeling inferior becoz of my dressing kind of thing. but that wldnt really matter in the end cos what matters is what i wld gain if i go to poly or if i go to jc.. haish.. there are self-help books on business rite? i wanna take over momma's business when i grow up and probably even open a franchise or stg.. but hey, one level at a time.. my priority and first hurdle right now: O Levels .... sounds like some monster sia..

kay, enuff with serious talk, mr yeo said the f word out loud in class.. that was when everyone knew he was really angry and just shuttup to listen his babble and after the babble a lame joke.. haha.. he promised us that if the whole class pass e and amaths for our eoys, he wld pay for the food money in out upcoming december hols pit.. =D together, we can pass maths!! haha.. what a statement.. one focus right now: amaths and ming hui.. =P no offense, bloke!


died-ed at 1:51 pm
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Thursday, September 04, 2003

SOFT PASTEL ON MY FACE... WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!:

heehee... aalyah called just now.. =D and she had this totally new indonesian accent.. talked to her the whole way back home from higher malay... when i picked up the fone she was like.. "atiqah..? ini aalyah.. ingat lagi ng`gak..?" and i was like.. "aaaaalyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaah!!!!!! ur in singapore!!!!!! since when did you came back here..? and what's with the indonesian accent..?" heehee.. missed her sia.. apparently, her daddy's business is done over there and she has been having this online tutor for her studies whilst she was there, soz yeah.. i'm gonna meet her soon next week.. i think..

anyway, p.e. lesson rawks today! heehee.. we had this captain's ball game.. mr yeo joined our team bcoz seng peng and nicholas was too urm.. powerful? for us... heehee.. mr yeo anyhow throw one.. and when i missed the thing he was like "atiqah can u catch the ball already???" i was like "can u throw PROPERLY already???" anyway, during the game whenever he missed he was like fuck fuck.. haha.. finally its uncensored.. in class its always censored... haha.. and then just now hor during his maths lesson he was talking abt remembering the things and then suddenly he went gan jiong.. n then he told us he isn't so gan jiong yet... wait till we are in sec 4.. he become more gan jiong (dun beleive ask 4E.. hehx).. and then he said things like the pythagoras' theorm (is this how u spell it?) olso they cannot remember cos they dun f care.. n at that part he almost slipped the word.. haha.. and ronald they all were like dun wat care..? then he said, cos they dun fantastically care.. gee... finally!! a long word being used by him, other than maths theories.. haha..

art was fun!!!!!!!!!! =D we got out work back, the mind map, the transformation and the self portrait.. i failed the self portrait.. hahax.. cos i handed in late n then -10 marks.. =( n the transformation wasn't very well done.. but i got 10th in class for the mind map.. =D i'm slacking in art.. gee... and then we started using the soft pastels for out termly final peice.. =D the pastels were like newly ordered and we were the first ones who got to use it.. =D really fun to use it.. "use force but at the same time, put the correct amt of force.." but the residue was very irritating liao lorz.. heehee.. there were times that i wanted to blow the residue off my paper, my saliva tersplatter on the paper.. =X not alort larh.. just small dots... heehee.. neway, got 75.5 outta 110 aka 69% for my hml test.. =D damn happy liao lorz.. gee and then i talked to simon on the phone while tryinna figure out the answers for my chem w/s with his help.. and we managed to finish that and the chem experiment worksheets that miss lee and mr ng assigned!! thanks simon!!! muachkz!

kay, anyway, me and widya are planning to get together to study and hang out.. and i think on that day, i'll ask rzaini to come along to see whichever cds he wants to burn.. and before that hanging out day, i better burn widya's cd!! yikes!! i am sooooooooooooo overdue.. =X anyway, rachel agreed that she'd help me with a new layout.. Thank YoU raChEL!! Ur D bEsT!! and i helped spookey with another malay project thing.. =D this time on lee kuan yew.. haha.. bleahz... heard a lot of good, meaningful songs today.. =D one of which is this:

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I say to myself
What wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
Bright sunny days, dark sacred nights
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow are so pretty in the skies
Are also on the faces of people walking by
I see friends shaking hands saying
How do you do?
They're really saying
I love you

I see babies cry, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself
What a wonderful world

And I say to myself
What a wonderful world

Artist: Joey Ramone
Song: What A Wonderful World



died-ed at 7:25 pm
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Wednesday, September 03, 2003

SINCE I AM SOOOO BORED...........:

.... i'll just blog larh hor... kay... morning woke up, switched on hp and i got a msg from my tiger!!! =D super happy at that moment man.. heehee.. then i went to school and then copied hw, as always, and timothy came in and was like "atiqah, are u taking photos today?(YA, I AM A SCHOOL PHOTOGRAPHER. ITS A LOSER CCA SO WHAT?) cos no one is taking it.. the sec 4s stand down already remember..? go and see mr loh okay..? if can, drag sriwatie too.." and i was like oh, ok.. and then i went to the staffroom to look for mr loh and guess what, azahari was already gonna take the photos.. aiyah.. n then i went to the hall straight and on the way caught up with weijie and ziqing and stephanie.. whom appears to be ziqing's new stead.. i think.. haha.. assembly's kinda boring.. stoopit science quiz and then the nature's society talk.. which happens to be a ultimate boring one.. n then had our chem test marks back but not the paper cos some people didnt take the test.. got 11.. haha.. and i got my amath paper back.. i got 12 outta 15.. kaylarh.. cld have gotten 15 if i used 3 s.f. all the way.. i am addicted to my school's western stall french fries dipped with the dunno what gravy... *smackx lips* fuuh!! magnificent! and now as i am sitting here, i am missing the choco chip vanilla icecream i used to eat every tuesday after art lesson at school last semester.. haha.. liam lynch's still wasted is playing on my mp3.. sounds nice.. cos i am wasting... still wasting from the party last night.. =D i am wasting.. wasting time alright..

anyway, tiger smsed me during social studies but we were doing the LORMS thingy for our sri lanka test (which was MONTHS ago).. soz yeah.. and i spent my lunch break in shafiqah's class, asking her fren(i forgot his name.. sheesh) to sell me the cushy pen at a 50cents profit..but to no avail.. i really want it!! i had a ladybug one from last year's donation drive but somehow, my baby cousin but the ladybird part of it off.. so yeah..

i walked home just now and there was like this mat and minah moto waiting for the red light to turn green and the minah was like looking at me with an attitude and then she hugged her bf tighter and gave me that "tak puas pe (translation:not happy issit?)" look.. and i was like "whatever!" and gave her the finguh. heh. when i got home, almost got bitten by a doggeh. gee. dunno how to walk a dog still want to walk a dog.. stoopit srgn gardeners (not the whole population but just the couple so pls arhz.) got back , used the comp and finally spookey is my lifesaver!!! helped him with his malay powerpoint thingy.. soz farnie.. first is a session of translating english words to malay and get the correct font and then i had to rephrase some of the urm.. paragrahh [o.0]? for him.. the msn pop-ups of who is online is getting irritating. ugh. anyway, spookey changed his blogsite againz.. and thanks to him, i found another person who uses the exact same layout as me.. ugh. I NEED A NEW LAYOUT!!! QUICK!!!!!!!!!! but lazy. haha. actually dunno how to do. =P~ neway, someone promised me bag of famous amous cookies for breakfast tomorrow.. soz, looking forward for tomorrow.. =9

beauty queen, lash
You aint no little angel, no more
You turned into a stranger, what for ?
Just how far can you go ?
Oh who knows ?

You think I'm entertainming oh oh
Can you see a danger ? oh oh
You're on your way
You're going further every day

Now I've got to let you go, oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
And I've got to let you know, oh oh oh oh
Close the door, you didn't see
Don't you know I'm a beauty queen yeah

You say you wanna make-up oh oh
But hey it's time to wake up oh oh
Just how far will I go ?
Who knows ?

Say, now you're entertaining oh oh
You didn't see the danger oh oh
I'm on my way
I'm going further every day

Now I've got to let you go, oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
And I've got to let you know, oh oh oh oh
There's a door you didn't see
Don't you know I'm a beauty queen ?
Beauty queen
You didn't see

Now I've got to let you go, oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
And I've got to let you know, oh oh oh oh
Now I've got to let you go, oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
And I've got to let you know, oh oh oh oh
There's a door you didn't see
Don't you know I'm a beauty queen ?
Beauty queen
You didn't see

Don't you forget all about the things you said
Oh they float around inside my head
And you think you got the best of me
But hey, it's just like the history yeah



died-ed at 6:26 pm
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TAKEN FROM SUMWHERE IN THE NET COS I AM TOO LAZY TO BLOG BUT DILIGENT ENUFF TO ADD AN ENTRY.. ;):

This is how you can tell the English language is alive and well on Planet Earth: We're creating new words. A lot of them. So many that the venerable Oxford English Dictionary has added 3,000 new words to its pages. Read just a sampling of these and update your vocabulary. And be happy that the English language is so much FUN! A sampling of some of the new words:

bada bing (also bada bing bada boom): An exclamation to emphasize that something will happen effortlessly and predictably.

blog: Shorthand for Web log.

bootylicious: Thanks to Destiny's Child, this is a description of exceptional booty. The song lyrics that changed the dictionary: "Cause my body too bootylicious for ya babe."

bubkis: Nothing, as in zilch.

cantopop: Asian pop industry featuring Cantonese lyrics and western style music.

cyberslacker: Someone who uses his or her company's Internet connection during work hours to surf the Net for personal use.

data smog: The impenetrable amount of facts available online.

Eeyorish: Refers to the character Eeyore in "Winnie the Pooh," who was known for his gloomy outlook on life.

egosurf: Someone who searches the Internet for references to himself or herself.

lovely jubbly: An expression of delight that originates from the British TV comedy "Only Fools and Horses."

muggle: A person without magical powers.

muppet: A foolish person.

turntablist: A DJ proficient at spinning records.

robata: A type of charcoal grill used in Japanese cooking.

shotgun cloning: The insertion of random fragments of DNA.

shovelware: Low-priced games or other programs packaged into higher-priced collections.

prairie-dogging: Office workers in cubicles who raise their heads above the partitions surrounding their desks to see what is going on.


died-ed at 4:03 pm
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Tuesday, September 02, 2003

LICKING A WHOLE GUNK OF NUTELLA OFF A SPOON:

so it is fattening. big deal. when i am depressed or stressed, i eat alot. so that explains my, urm, heaviness..? geez.. i mean its not as if being fat is a sin.. bahz.. soz anyway, i went to school today which seemed like a half day to me.. had english and then amaths and then had lit (which the whole 3d population would never pay attention to) and then had free malay periods.. english was soooooooo dry.. read the passage from the tys and then we marked the comprehension and then dunno she was talking about what cos me and jun hui and shan and sze herng were bz talking abt the cantonese and hainanese.. urm.. "thingy"... amaths test was alright larhz.. i think i can scrape thru it.. we shall see aye.. maybe not a 19/20.. but we'll see aye.. n then mr yeo went thru the emaths hw... tat is wanted to go thru.. n then he saw wei jie and jaslyn without their hw and then he inspected the whole class' work.. me and junhui went all worried and he was like,"quick atiq, gimme a peice of graph paper!!" and i did.. haha and then we started to draw the scale real quickly and then when he already started walking down the aisle, we almost finished the scale, so we were xcused (cos at least the scale is drawn, not like the other 3/4 of the class.. =S) man.. i felt kinda guilty.. but i got away with it anyway cos the other 3/4 of the class had to stay back during recess and receive the silent treatment from him.. and we have got 4 period maths lesson with him, so yikes cos i didnt bring home my emaths textbook to complete the diagram and stuff.. so yeah. iqah's gonna get slaughtered tomorrow.. go celebrate!!

mir is bugging me right now to let her use the computer but she's shaking her legs on the coffee table right now, so its okay.. let her wait.. i am evil!! and now he's singing along with the blink satu lapan dua song.. haha.. me and siti kept joking abt the stoopit blink satu lapan dua thing that faizal kept saying during the gathering the other time.. so yeah.. maybe this week i'll go watch the medellion or stg.. but i dunno larhz.. aiyah.. dunno larhz.. i feel so lazy these days.. i am supposed to have a malay prelim at anderson this saturday but it is not confirmed liao lorz.. but what is confirmed is i'm going to a french town this saturday night until tuesday or stg.. =D its located at k.l. or bukit tinggi or whatever but it is a french place.. momma reckons its gonna be a kewl place.. any place with spagetthi and lasagne and loads of cheese works for me.. =d i better get off this chair already.. i can see the irritation in her face.. actually she deserves it... she can at least feel the anticipation i felt when she went on talking at her habbo thingy when i wanted to use the computer.. haha.. and i think she's gonna check my blog and kill me tonight.. so ppl... CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!!


died-ed at 6:30 pm
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Monday, September 01, 2003

Dear Mommy,

I am in Heaven now sitting on God's lap. He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken.

I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited when i began realizing my existence. I was in a dark, yet comfortable place that kept me warm and secured. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty for along in my developing yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping. Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me.

Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back.I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much. Sometimes, I felt that I was too heavy for you to bear.. and felt honored that you still wanted to carry me around.

One day, you cried almost all of the day. I felt hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.That same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in.. I remember just waking up from my sleep. I was so scared, I began screaming, but there was no sound. I guess they had you all pinned down because you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer and I started wriggling and shouting in pain. I screamed at the top of my voice saying "Mommy, help me please, Mommy help me!".

I was not rescued. Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore. The monster was indeed cruel and started ripping me off slowly but surely. First, it started ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the pain was unbearable and I could never explain how it felt. Oh, how I begged it to stop hurting me. Then it tore my legs off and I realized that I was dying. I knew at that moment that I would never see your lovely face or hear you using me any lullaby. I will never hear you say how much you loved me too.

Mommy, I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now, I couldn't as all my dreams are shattered. Although I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all else. I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. Its no use now for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things they had done to you.

I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand. And soon no longer, I had the breath to say them; I was cold and dead. Then all of a sudden, I felt myself rising and being carried by a huge angel with white gowns and pearly wings. He brought me to a beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone. The angel took me to God.

Then, I felt happy and asked Him what was the thing that killed me. He answered sadly, "Abortion, my child. I am sorry for I know how it feels". I don't know what abortion is, I guess that's the name of the monster. I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how very much I wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but I could'nt as the moster was all too powerful. It sucked my arms and legs and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die. Also, Mommy please watch out for the abortion monster. Don't let it come to get any of my other sisters or brothers who want to live.

I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I experienced.

Luv,

Your Child with God.


died-ed at 6:41 pm
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BEFRIENDING YOU WAS A MISTAKE. SERIOUSLY:

i just hate sid. he is one friend i thought i could count on and he has to hurt me. its like as if befriending other people is a sin. a big lie. all those heart-to-heart, i-understand-your-situation conversations are a big lie. i wonder how long had i been a fool to actually think that he was my friend. its like the mosquito and the human business. mosquito stays on a still arm, hoping it can suck all the blood out and then suddenly, WHAM!, the human kills it. its like that. i tot i could count on sid when i needed a shoulder to cry on during my tear-filled nights but hey, today i am a madwoman who doesn't have any feelings and won't stop talking at all. gee. if you didn't like it, tell me. i don't want to be an asshole in your life, but i probably already am and maybe you are gonna remember me as the biggest joke ever. i should have known better than to count on you. those,"myz, i'm teaching right now." "myz, i have got my parents sitting in front of me while i am lying on my bed." "myz,..." WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!! gosh i just hope one day you can feel the way i do and when that time comes, serves you right.

my words may never hurt your heart.. but, oh, wait a minute, do you even have one? your words, hurt mine. killed me; ripped me; right through my heart. i wonder why God give guys this ability to hurt girls just the way they want us to be. its so cruel. it hurts. and when it comes too often, it doesnt hurt anymore. it is as if its ever enjoying. its boundless. and i hope you enjoyed the show. i hope you enjoyed the climax. i hope you enjoyed teasing this fool. to give you a second chance, i may consider. but it'll be shame on you if you fooled me once and shame on me if you fooled me twice. cos if u are still thinking you're the daddy mac, i should have known better and then, i can never go back.

Everytime you go away
It actually kinda makes my day
Everytime you leave
You slam the door

You pick your words so carefully
You hate to think you're hurting me
You leave me laughing on
The floor

Cause I don't give it up, I don't give a damn
What you say about that
You know I don't give it up, I don't give a damn
What you say about that
You know I'm not gonna cry, about some stupid guy
A guy who thinks he's all that

I thought we were just hanging out
So why'd you kiss me on the mouth
You thought the way you taste
Would get me high

You went to all your friends to brag
Guys are always such a drag
Don't you know the reason that I kissed you was to
Say goodbye

Cause I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy
A guy who thinks he's all that

Hanging hanging out, I am simply
Hanging hanging out, I am simply
Hanging so why'd you kiss me on the mouth?

Don't you know that I...

I don't give a damn about you
I won't give it up not for you
I don't give a damn about you
I won't give it up not for you
I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy
A guy who thinks he's all that

I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that

I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that


~the point of making friends: losing them eventually.


died-ed at 6:29 pm
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ANOTHER EARLY ENTRY. GEE..:

gee... i am weird. i wanted to fall back to sleep just now but mir invited me to her room and i ended up reading sweet valley high (rather corny, i noe) whilst listening to jap and korean pop. =D wat a way to start the day. anyway, mir was like,"what page are u at now?? how can u overtake me!!" gee.. i dun see what's her problem.. (and yeah, she was reading all american girl. DAVID IS MINE!! she can have chris from dear nobody =s) and then ard 3/4 through the book, i got hungry and i noticed the bottle of crispy-thing coated peanuts and i began eating them.. at first, i ate the whole thing just like that. n then i figured i hated the peanuts, with obvious fear that my pimples wld grow bigger by the nut, i ate the coating only, putting the peanuts on my bolster and when i was done with the bottle of coating, i put the nuts back into the bottle.. gee.. haha.. and bibik said that the nuts can make gado².. =S gahz.. kinda disgusting...

anyway, abg went back to p.a. just now.. i think.. tomorrow he'll pass out already.. i think... =S kay soz now i am really really hungry... and let us all cross our finguhs for me, wishing and hoping and praying that momma will come back with nasi lomak or yong tau foo for me to swallow, digest and shit it back out. haha.. yesterday me and aiman was like talking about shakespeare because his msn nick was like "O true apothecary..! Thy drugs are quick.. Thus with a kiss i die.." from Romeo and Juliet.. haha.. i lent him my R&J text maria gave me the other time and i guess he is now sooo obsessed.. which reminds me, marg have yet to lemme the vcds she bought at hmv the other time... haha.. anyway, azl called me last night, reading to me the very first paragraph of shakespeare's twelfth night, without even giving me a chance to say hello.. haha.. sick arh he.. he wants me to go thru the play with him cos his school is gonna make an abridged version of the play.. gee.. i have got an f9 for my past semester's lit exam.. =S but hey, i passed the c.a. the other (even though its only by a mark. it still counts alright!)

and yesterday, i watched this country-concept movie with mir and i was like, "okay, from now on i think i'm into oprah, country and jazz kind of thing.. pop culture and rnb and all other kind of genre can move over!" and then i paused a little while (mir had this whatever-i-don-care kind of look) and then i continued,"avril lavigne anybody??" gee.. and then she laughed her socks off... gee.. and i spent my whole sunday reading.. from "dont look behind you" to "dear nobody" to "dreamcatcher" to "elske".. oh gee... i wondered how the presentation for the madrasah fare yesterday.. since i skipped.. lets just hope that ain dun kill me this sunday.. =X omg.. i just typed a whole junk of bowenian's email address to pass to ronald.. soooooooooo BO PIAN!! gee... there are like 15 ppl online and i have to talk to only him... =S oh yeah man. momma is here with fooD!!!! and then its work time for me... =(


died-ed at 9:39 am
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