Sunday, August 31, 2003

AMAZED:

kay, soz it is a little early to blog. so what. i haven't got anything to do anyway. skipped madrasah, so yeah. i am amazed at ppl. one time so peaceful, so warm. and the next time, they explode. like a volcano. just wham! and then boom!. i wonder why they can only hold on to so much before exploding. might as well explode their hearts out, rather than holding it all inside. i am amazed on how ppl know how to differenciate between the right and the wrong. and still do the wrong. and sober then. regretting the path they made to the point of no return. why didn't they just kept themselves on the right path. mourning wastes a lot of time, don't you think? i am amazed on how ppl, especially in singapore, expect the cheapest out of things to be of good quality. sheesh man, you pay what you deserve. i am amazed on how cruel humans can be to the wildlife. tusks for ivory, horns for medicinal value. ivory are optional. and when u have gotta go, just go. dun create more sins in your life already. people can be so inhumane to their own species too. they made the baby and they are killing them. dun the babies deserve to live just like they do? what had the babies done to deserve to be aborted? people may think that feticidation is the most cruel thing on earth and yet there are many whom practise that stupid intentional destruction of the human fetus.

the discussion of the human's stupidity is deeper than spiritual, i feel. many had meant to say no to the negative factors in life, but yet they don't. no, such a simple, one syllable word; yet creates such a deep impact in a person's life; yet so difficult to pronnounce; yet so difficult to say. many let people do those stupid mind tricks to them, which leads them to their very own comeuppance; their very own degeneration; their very own ruination. what's the use of your brain? what's the use of your opinion? what's the use of the laws that allow you to speak your mind out? why degrade yourself? where's your commitment to yourself? your religion? don't you even care what is going to happen to you? life is so much more than having fun and regret later. people who cry during their teenage years and then laugh when they are adults are people who had succeeded. hey, they worked and cried their blood and sweat out, so why not? you people who laughed when you are supposed to cry; you people who are crying when others are laughing; you people are the ones who have failed. life turns out the way you want it to be.

my immortal

i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
i've been alone all along


died-ed at 9:35 am
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Saturday, August 30, 2003

TALE AS OLD AS TIME, SONG AS OLD AS RHYME:

i woke up late today.. at ard 11 plus like tt.. didn't bother abt the time for the first time i woke up.. and oh sheesh i had this major dream-cum-nightmare.. must have been the heather graham book i had been reading last night.. oh sheesh.. anyway, i did my saturday-morning-ritual walk into the kitchen, opened the (spoilt) microwave to see what's inside (and found pratas) and then rubbed my eyes and went into the toilet to do my stuff and brush teeth and blehz. why am i typing down my saturday-morning-ritual walk here anyway? n then i heated the pratas in the toaster and whilst waiting, i went to disturb mir for a moment.. and then i went to take my pratas from the toaster and pour the whole gunk of gravy over them.. so much so that it was as if i was eating only gravy.. hahax.. ate the pratas while watching Beauty and the Beast... favourite classic man.. =D love the songs.. haha.. i practically sang along each and every song.. except for the gaston song of course.. i hate that gaston!! ugh.. belle dowan to marry him still wanna force.. LOSER!.. =S

momma and abah are at k.l. again.. fiqi is at johor with nenek and cik enal and cik mah and lale.. they went to stay over at cik zari's new hse there.. gee.. i could`ave followed them but ugh.. lazy.. i got amaths test coming up on tuesday anyway.. i'm supposed to go and buy lunch from kfc at 2 but i am still here, blogging my ass off and not yet washed up since 11 just now.. geez.. omg.. now i am watching the badminton match on 5 rite now.. i had some late-night chat with daffi last night.. he keeps saying that he wants to be different, he doesnt want to take studies all at one shot like every other student in singapore right now.. he made me wonder.. do i really know what i want in life.. i mean daffi, only a year older than me, knows what he wants.. after o's go n work part time and go bagpacking for a while and come back and study little by little.. gee.. and i..? do i have a destination? do i have a goal in life..?

i always had this mindset that after secondary school, i'll go to poly to take business and then go to university and get a degree in some course.. maybe econs or human relations [o_0]? or sthg.. and be a courier woman.. gosh.. i told this to a certain someone before.. no one special okay.. and he asked me,"don't you want to fall in love and settle down for a while?" and i told him,"no, i do not want to fall in love. i do not want to settle down." and when he asked me why, i couldn't answer him.. am i afraid of falling in love..? gosh, i do not see the point. i know it is a wonderful feeling, falling in love.. but it hurts at last right? sheesh man.. i can just start with philosophical talk all outta sudden and my mood swings so sum raggae music...

Sean Paul:Shake that thing

Shake that thing Miss Kana Kana
Shake that thing Miss Annabella
Shake that thing yan Donna Donna
Jodi and Rebecca

Woman Get busy, Just shake that booty non-stop
When the beat drops
Just keep swinging it
Get jiggy
Get crunked up
Percolate anything you want to call it
Oscillate you hip and don’t take pity
Me want fi see you get live ‘pon the riddim when me ride
And me lyrics a provide electricity
Gal nobody can tell you nuttin’
Can you done know your destiny

Yo sexy ladies want par with us
In a the car with us
Them nah war with us
In a the club them want flex with us
To get next to us
Them cah vex with us
From the day me born jah ignite me flame gal a call me name and its me fame
Its all good girl turn me on
‘Til a early morn’
Let’s get it on
Let’s get it on ‘til a early morning
Girl it’s all good just turn me on

Woman don’t sweat it, don’t get agitate just gwaan rotate
Can anything you want you know you must get it
From you name a mentuin
Don’t ease the tension just run the program gals wan pet it
Just have a good time
Gal free up unu mind caw nobody can dis you man won‘t let it can
You a the number one gal
Wave you hand
Make them see you wedding band

[Chorus]
Yo sexy ladies want par with us
In a the car with us
Them nah war with us
In a the club them want flex with us
To get next to us
Them cah vex with us
From the day me born jah ignite me flame gal a call me name and its me fame
Its all good girl turn me on
‘Til a early morn’
Let’s get it on
Let’s get it on ‘til a early morning
Girl it’s all good just turn me on

Woman Get busy , Just shake that booty non-stop
When the beat drops
Just keep swinging it
Get jiggy
Get crunked up
Percolate anything you want to call it
Oscillate you hip and don’t take pity
Me want fi see you get live ‘pon the riddim when me ride
And me lyrics a provide electricity
Gal nobody can tell you nuttin’
Can you done know your destiny

[Chorus]
Yo sexy ladies want par with us
In a the car with us
Them nah war with us
In a the club them want flex with us
To get next to us
Them cah vex with us
From the day me born jah ignite me flame gal a call me name and its me fame
It’s all good girl turn me on
‘til a early morn’
let’s get it on
let’s get it on ‘til a early morning
girl…it’s all good just turn me on

Yo, Shake that thing
Miss Kana Kana shake that thing
Yo, Annabella shake that thing
Miss Donna Donna
Yo Miss Jodi yu’r di one and Rebecca shake that thing

Yo shake that thing
Yo Joanna shake that thing
Yo Annabella shake that think
Miss Kana Kana

[Chorus]
Yo sexy ladies want par with us
In a the car with us
Them nah war with us
In a the club them want flex with us
To get next to us
Them cah vex with us
From the day me born jah ignite me flame
gal a call me name and its me fame
Its all good girl turn me on
‘Til a early morn’
Let’s get it on
Let’s get it on ‘til a early morning
Girl it’s all good just turn me on
[x2]

Let’s get it on ‘til a early morning
Girl it’s all good just turn me on


BO PIAN LIAO LARHZ!


died-ed at 2:23 pm
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Friday, August 29, 2003

YAWNZ.:

i didnt go out with shirin after all.. but i did went back to rosyth with eunice, joan, lin shan, theresa, jeanette, vanessa and samantha... gaha.. only 2 of us were from rosyth.. n when we went there saw edmund, saw keith, hui jin, celine, elizabeth, shamini, shamini's friends, arun, francine, pamela, michelle, kimberly, cherise, alort larhz.. k soz anyway, we went to the canteen and i saw gaga.. i didnt know he was from rosyth too.. =D anyway, we walked around.. n then spoilt one of the lifts x/ and then we went to walk to hougang point to eat... bleh.

anyway, the concert was sooooooo nice!!! the first item is a skit by shazza's clz.. haha.. muhaimmin acted like a gay like that.. soooo kiut! and then it was song song song song song song song song.. n dance dance dance dance dance dance dance.. and ballet.. haha.. okay larhz.. if u were there, u wld enjoy it. really. zhen de. sompa! kay anyway, this morning i just got to the foyer and then i saw mrs sim and i was like "MRS SIM!! HAPPY TEACHERS DAY!!" and then i reached into my paper bag and gave her the cookies i spent all nite baking and packing.. and then had aces.. okay larh.. hip hop funk dance.. the pictures are out on the plasma tv.. go n see on tuesday ppl! we didnt get our newater... =o( i was going to keep the bottle... nyanyi the other time took my bottle.. sheesh.. i was saving it alright! n then we had physics test.. i guess maybe i'm finally going to pass it.. =D but we didnt have enuff time and mrs tan left us to mdm lim to invigilate.. but as she was running past the class [thank god i sit next to the door], i was like.. "MRS TAN!" and i gave her the present.. "for u..." haha... so sweetz, i am.. blehz. n then we talked abt the tourism industry during geog.. me and linshan were like eating the left over biscuits i brought for them... haha.. n then i gave mdm lim her present... =D like finally... heehee...

soz anyway, i was like at sch just now.. i mean after school just now and i was like walking in the canteen and i tot i saw a halman.. but i dunno if it was really him or stg.. n then i saw the other arun.. he's in cjc rite now.. the uniform is so blue.. so yuckie.. haha.. and i saw tt band guy from last yr.. his hairstyle like never change like that.. haha.. gahz.. i am so bored and sleepy right now.. but i do not feel like going to my bed to sleep or stg... i have to make the cookies for abah.. sianz... but i love the cookies.. but i am LAZY!!...

i am so lazy to go to everyone's tagboards to reply to their taggies.. so here i am replying alright.... Spookey: wrong info liao lor.. it was full day.. geez... i was soooo purturbed when i got the right news... Gaz: u want the cookies, MAN MAN LAI LIAO LORZ!!! gee.... airmail dun include air tight containers to maintain the crispy, freshness of the cookies ya noe... gee. why do i even bother...?

Samantha Mumba, Always Come back to uR lOVe:

I've been up and down
Been going round and round
I've been all over town
But I'll never ever find somebody new for sure

Chorus :
Show me where I belong tonight
Give me a reason to stay
No matter if I go left or right
I always come back to your love

I've been high and low
I don't know where to go
Because I love you so
And I'll never ever find someone like you for sure

[Chorus]

Woah
No matter if I go left or right
I always come back to your love
Woah

(Show me love tonight
I'm going left to right
No matter where I go
I always find your love)

[Chorus] x 2

Woah
Woah
I always come back to your love



died-ed at 4:51 pm
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Thursday, August 28, 2003

"MOST PPL HAVE GRANMOMS WHO BAKES. I HAVE GOT ONE WHO GETS BAKED":

got it from How To Deal larhz the heading above.. was thinking abt it larhz.. khee.. soz anyway, today was quite okay.. i guess... went to sch, it was raining so daddy sent me right into the sch at the foyer there. and thnk god the red ford wasnt parked already or i could have walked ard the school barefooted.. anywayz, after that studied chem with sowmya and my bus-destroying affiliate and kim hock while waiting for the assembly bell to ring.. n whilst studying wei jie and i was like sharing this curry puff.. he eat like pig like that arr! khee.. soz anyway, the bell rang and we sang d national anthem and recited the pledge and then sat and listened to the announcements.. tomorrow can wear p.e. attire all day and then can wear trackies.. =D then we had lit.. i spent lit studying summore chem and wrote the fomulaes on my desk. heh. but chem test was a disaster anyway.. kay.. is ammonium nitrate the same of ammonium solution.. issit NH4OH or issit stg else.. gee.. the whole p.e. walk from the classroom to the hall we were discussing chemistry shit. =X

anyway, we played captain's ball and floor ball during p.e... it was quite farn larhz.. but i think when the guys were like playing the captain's ball, they rock.. they like got their own style of throwing the ball like tt.. like basketball.. x) n then had recess, amaths test.. was another disaster.. khee~ n then had art.. we changed places~ gee.. now sowmya sits at fok peng's sit [YEAY!!] and pei jiao sits next to me.. she's nice larhz... heehee.. and i have got sharpener providers surrounding me.. heehee.. we did this composition of a twisted face being pulled by our own imaginary objects.. we were supposed to use soft pastels budden samantha and bernard had difficulty finding the pastels at the staff lounge.. gahz.. we're gonna use it next thursday.. =D n no art on tuesday.. bummer..

soz anyway, after art me and nurul huda ate this mee hor fun.. one dollar.. worth it ppl try it!! n the other atiqah was like bugging us.. not really bugging larhz.. her presence was appreciated.. n then we asked her to dance a lil for us as showcase for her performance tomorrow.. heehee.. and she dance in the canteen.. lolx! i salute her bravery.. kheekhee.. me and nurul was like on the upper deck of bus 72 just now.. on the way to higher malay when these ite amk malay guys boarded and sat behind our seats.. and then they started talking.. and then one started singing and me and nurul both stood up and went to the lower deck to alight larhz.. n one of the guys were like "aku start menyanyi je dorang pergi.. buruk sangat ke suare aku?"... haha.. we were like lauffing our ass off all the way to anderson.. khee.. and finally our classroom is airconditioned!! but it was too cold.. haha... n the toilet was nice larhz.. but if someone shake in the cubicle too hard i think the whole toilet wld crash.. =X heehee.. and on our way home, fitria and i was like singing singing... haha.. her face is like full of expression.. haha... damn farnie.. kheekhee.. n i had to return home with a bunch of brown coloured uniform girls baking choc chip cookies.. but hey, cookies up for a taste, no problem!!

anyway, later tonight i have to bake my cookies, wait for shirin online.. and oh ya.. just now i talked to shirin, deciding where to go and meet up tomorrow.. apparently, it'll be just the two of us.. haha.. at least sumthing larhz.. n we kept side tracking.. haha.. soz maybe we are gonna meet at orchard tomorrow to go n eat and take some stickers or stg... kay.. now I shldnt sidetrack.. =D bake my cookies, wait for shirin to be online, study for tt physics test.. *yikes* AND wrap the thingy for the cookies.. iQah:MULTITASKER!! haha.. my foot.. gee... mr yeo emailed the class to tell us abt having a retest on tuesday.. oh sheesh.. every week also got amaths test.. sian liao lorz.. but he gave us the questions tt we did this morning.. he said tt the test is gonna be similar to the one we had.. soz gotta study!! and abang better be home this weekend.. or else i am in deep shiet... and here are the lyrics to unbreak my heart..(the one me and fit had been singing with expression... =D:

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The night are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss that pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry that tears
I cried so many, many nights
Un-break my

Un-break my heart
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin'
Without you I just can't go on
Can't go on....




died-ed at 7:12 pm
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Monday, August 25, 2003

THE SWEETNESS OF SEAH SENG PENG IS REMEMBERED:

heehee.. really it was remembered.. it was like during english lesson when mrs guna was going thru the grp reports and yada yada yada and then suddenly i remembered the reopening of school after the sars break.. haha.. i was sent home thrice!! and i remembered... seng peng was the only 3d soul who called me and asked me abt my health for full 20 mins.. haha.. really sweet lorz.. he ask me to drink alort of water and exercise.. keehee.. and i remembered complaining abt mr yeo finishing one full chapter of a maths in 3 days.. how cld he.. haha...

so anyway, yesterday i called shez... her voice is like want to cry like tt.. maybe its the phone connection.. but usually it doesn't sound that way... i mean.. recalling the last time i saw her which was a year ago.. gee.. talked alort of crap liao arhz.. anyway, there is gonna be a rosythian malay gurls [half, at least] renunion this friday.. k then we had to hang up cos i didn't noe her momma was right behind her giving her the "vulture look".. khee...~

soz anyway, today we got back our emaths test paper... 22 out of 25.. not bad larhz.. heehee.. me and jun hui got the exact same marks.. anyway, jun hui and lin shan were kinda crazy today.. first they were like fighting cos he called her chio bu too much and she was like pissed off cos he wldnt let her see the photos.. budden after recess he like pujuk her by telling her she can see the photos tomorrow.. haha.. n then rite, we were like singing lullabyes... first is the "how much is tt doggy in the window" and the "___ little ducks went out one day" and the "johnny johnny please dun cry"... haha.. and then social studies, mrs yong didnt come.. n then got this short teacher take over and jun hui shouted "this is the worst teacher i have ever seen" too loud that the other side of the class could hear him.. keekee.. and lin shan took the pix of the teacher and we were like editing it like hell... haha...

n after school we went to hougang point to eat.. i ate this mixed grill thing for 5 dollars.. gort fish fillet, chicken chop and rice and coleslaw.. and nurul gave me her red beans.. okay larh... quite worth it.. n then when we reached anderson, we had to go to the malay room and then we did this o level paper whilst listening to the radio.. haha.. so shitty.. its the warna channel.. khee.. and me and nasyitah and faezah was like doing the thing and comparing answers and when we didnt noe the meaning of the word, i had to sms daddy to get the meaning.. haha.. and then after the class, we went to see the new container classroom that we should go to from thursday onwards.. finally.. AIR CON!! yeeeeeeehaaaa!! heehee.. and then i went back with fit, adilah, azzi, azi, azni, nurul and yati.. for the first time azzi, fit, and azni sat with me and adilah at the lower deck.. haha.. the bus ride felt so short today.. keehee.. and oh.. today i went to school with a wet shoe.. soz imagine this: we walking in wet shoes for the whole day and when i came back home, my feet were wrinkled and my socks were wet and smelly.. xD.. k.. dun imagine..

finally, anak melayu is back on.. i had my rocky iv to talk to me again! yeah!! heehee.. anyway, i dun see anychanges but well done, finally ur back on after dunno how many blood-filled days.. ahax.. soz anyway, just now i was like listening to the ataris's- summer wind was always our song n then the music changed to what u noe? the stylistics- can't help falling in love.. haha.. wat a musical exchange.. khee.. i am eating a big bowl of vegetable soup.. ooh yummeh!! it rained the whole day soz the air was cool when i was walking from the bus stop to my block.. ooh.. and i sooo love the smell of paint that i had to puke.. keehee.. anyway, i dun think i have to keep my fan very up tonite cos i am going to sleep in the hall and open the windows real wide and let the icy night come and seduce me.. haha.. some people are just so crazy


died-ed at 7:31 pm
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